Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Randomize
