sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
