ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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