You really coming over, don't trick.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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