she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize