Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
