I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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