she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
