we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize