It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
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