butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
