now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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