I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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