even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
