Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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