I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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