What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
