She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Come share oat with me in your robe
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Randomize
