That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Randomize
