she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
We got so high we made milksteak
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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