two words: eviction party
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
