We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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