; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Is Oprah even human
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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