the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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