i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize