Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
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