apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
