I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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