plz talk dirty to me
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
