I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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