the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
