my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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