i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
