Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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