I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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