this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
There's always time for handjobs
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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