What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize
