i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
