She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
