my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Randomize
