I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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