ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Boobs are out for the taking
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
