I can text with my tongue
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Randomize
