actually, I'm a sock model
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
