I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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