fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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