sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
