Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
