i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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