I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
