I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
