i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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