She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
