I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
