My brain says no but my pants say off.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
