It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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