Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
