you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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