She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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