Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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