why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
