don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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